Being Single

Red Wine, Jazz & Romance. Excitement. Companionship.
Vs
Whiskey, Rock & books. Routine. Narcissistic existence.
An age old argument, I think it’s totally pointless though. There is no real contest between which life is better.If the hangovers from previous relationships, and anxiety about sudden changes were to be kept aside, I bet most people I know would any day prefer to be in love. So do I.
The point of concern, however, is when singledom is forced upon you, due to lack of choice, what do you do?
Here’s a redundant analysis of the situation faced by me and many of my single friends.
Given that you want to, how do you get out of the situation (Singledom)? Yes... by finding some one. But how does that happen? By keeping eyes open and looking at every single person around you with a magnifying glass? That seems highly unromantic.. isn't it supposed to be spontaneous? Whatever it is, it just seems unnatural.
Compared to7-8 years ago, scripting brand new stories from scratch seem less probable today.Teenage has gone past. I guess with age, comes experience, and with it, wisdom. And wisdom breeds fear.
There are too many self created conditions, constraints, barriers. It’s become more of a convenience deal. Everything has to fall in to the set criteria; Age, geography, mindset, frequency, eating habits and favorite TV shows. The idea of romance seems to have been crushed by cynicism. It was so much easier to fall in love when we were 18. Boy! Did I compromise on my ‘criteria’ then!
Now, after taking some hits, some extremely painful ones at that, the whole condition of being in love seems, like it invites vulnerability. It's definitely not an encouraging sign. Your history comes and stares at you in the face every time the thought crosses the mind.
I am not cynical. Not entirely. Not yet. But I see this definite change. Forget the part about asking some one out, the whole process of convincing yourself about your interest in some one is stressful. Everything has to be perfect even before you find out that person’s interest in you.

To add to the trauma of all this internal complicated thought process, are the committed friends and relatives.Its not that you go green when you see a couple, you really are fine with your life and you are quite indifferent to theirs. You really don’t care how they are perfect for each other or are a disaster together. Either ways, you just take it as a fact of their lives and unfortunately yours too.Singledom, on the other hand, is often seen by these committed friends as some sort of an ugly disease. The disease that needs urgent prescription from those blessed souls who have nailed this thing called life, by being in a relationship, however good/bad it might be.
I really have nothing against being around couples. But I do get annoyed with those of them who constantly prick you with the ‘Hehe loser! You are single, we are not’ type of look in their eyes.
Their behaviour is quite stunning. Combined with that look, there are classic statements made on a regular basis:
‘You are hot only. You are smart also, can’t understand why you are still single’ –
A lot of times, this, sounds to you like:
‘You are decent looking, you have managed to pass PG, and even then, no one is asking you out, what’s wrong with you? Must be something really terrible that would put off people – body odour, acne, fat, god knows what else’.

What this does is, makes a supposedly innocent sounding compliment turn into a pathetic mystery, for which the friend pities you.

It seems then that, it’s not about finding a match anymore, it’s about being chosen by some generous god, who would be willing to date you..yes in spite of you being YOU. Its about seducing the Mr. Perfect, there are so many of them running around no?
Retorts like the following pop in my head immediately:
“Thank you for recognizing my hotness and smartness, but don't you think you are forgeting on little detail? It’s not enough that I am ‘good enough’; I would need to find some one who is ‘good enough’ too."

Most of the times, life goes easy. You don’t want to take this painful conversation any further, so you smile and let it be. You pretend like it indeed was a compliment, you don’t respond at all and all is well.

And you get back to the comfortable state of being 'single and happy about it'.